


Aren't we just terrified?

by midearthwritings



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Brother-Sister Relationships, Brothers, Fluff, Gen, Happy Ending, No Incest, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:54:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29080443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midearthwritings/pseuds/midearthwritings
Summary: Three brothers who were actually two brothers and a sister.(Or : Reader was born in the wrong body and it's nothing to be ashamed of.)
Relationships: Fíli & Kíli (Tolkien) & You, Fíli (Tolkien)/Reader, Kíli (Tolkien)/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Aren't we just terrified?

**Author's Note:**

> In this one, the reader is MTF transgender, and Kíli&Fíli are the best brothers.
> 
> Originally posted on Tumblr (@midearthwritings).

Now, this was different. It gave you a certain freedom that breeches didn't allow. You liked it. The feeling at least. Because when you looked closer, it wasn't very aesthetically pleasing at the moment. Perhaps it was because of your hair? With a flick of your wrist, you brushed off the idea. It wasn't about the looks, right now. No, it was about how it felt.  
For weeks, the dress had been laying under your bed, securely. You had been waiting for the right moment to try it on. It wasnt that easy to have time for yourself when you were royalty. Between your duties, and your two brothers who were glued to you like honey to a bear's teeth, you were never alone. Not that you were complaining, no. You loved your brothers and your education, despite being tiring, was important to you.  
Your patience had paid off. So here you were, in the privacy of your bedchambers, twirling in one of your mother's dress.   
Deep inside, you knew you looked a little bit silly —just a little bit—, doing random movements to see how the fabric reacted to your body. But it was worth it. Because for every shift of your arm, every tentative jump you took, it felt good. It felt right. 

But little did you know that your peace wouldn't last, and you would have to cut your exploring escapade short.   
You were in the middle of another timid twirl when the wooden door flew open. 

"Can you, _please_ , tell Fíli that using a bow doesn't- What are you doing?"

Instinctively, you wrapped your arms around yourself, in a weak attempt to hide the clothing. Trapped. Trapped like a rabbit in a hunting party. No, worse. You had been caught, like a thief trying to steal from the King.

"Brothers!" You exclaimed, your voice shaking. "I will explain!"

What was there to say, really? The sight before them spoke by itself, your words would be useless.   
Time stopped, as they both stayed still, staring at you. So, silently, you waited. You had done it for weeks, only to try on a dress. And yet, the five, or less, minutes you waited for your brothers to speak up felt like forever.   
Then, suddenly, Kili shook his head in a slow, oh so very slow, disapproving gesture.

"No. This is not good."

His words resonated in your bedchambers, cutting the air like a sword cut the skin of its enemies, and breaking your heart in a billion pieces. Your fingers clutched the fabric of your mother's dress. Desperately, you looked at your eldest brother, pleading him to say something, anything. Fíli's silence was deafening.   
Slowly, he narrowed his eyes. From head to toe, he scrutinized you. You felt naked under their judgemental gazes. And really, if you had had to choose, you would have rather been nude than living this situation. Because it was not supposed to happen. They were not supposed to come home from training this early, and much less walk in on you in woman garments.   
When finally—finally— Fíli chose to speak up, you wished he hadn't. You wished he would've stayed quiet.  
  
"It is not. At all." He said, earning an agreeing nod from Kili.

The world crumbled around you, the furnitures dancing in the room as you started to feel dizzy. Suffocating. You were suffocating. Yet, you stayed still.   
Fíli was the first to turn around and leave, soon followed by your other brother. The door fell loudly behind them, its sound bouncing on the walls, echoing in your ears.   
Slowly, you turned around, facing the mirror again. And through the tears, you looked at your blurry reflection. It looked ridiculously broken and lost. They had been right. It was not good, not good at all. Dis' dress was too tight for you, despite you not being as muscular as your siblings. The only part of the clothing that was too big was the upper part, where breasts were supposed to fill it.   
Lips trembling, you grabbed the hem of the garment and brought it over your head to take it off. It fell to the floor in a soft thud, the deep blue fabric spreading like an enraged sea at your feet. Your eyes locked with those of the person in the mirror. It was a familiar figure, yet you felt like you didn't know who it was. Those broad shoulders and flat chest were someone else's. Not yours. You brought your hand to your face, following the stranger's sharp jawline with your fingertips. Droplets dampened your skin as warm tears slipped between your cheek and your palm.   
All you had wanted was to feel beautiful for once, in that manly body of yours. And now, the two people you loved most on Earth would look upon you with disgust, instead of the adoring eyes they used to give you. You were sure that, soon, your mother as well as your uncle, would hate you too. Maybe they will be so disgusted that they'd ask you to leave. You will be very alone, in this world you knew nothing of.  
At that thought, your tears doubled and a broken sob escaped your lips.   
  
What stirred you out of your thoughts was the door opening again, and voices. In the mirror, you could see your brothers, arms busy with various items. Your eyes met Kili's and he smiled.  
  
"Ah you undressed already." He pointed out. "Perfect. We had a bit of trouble finding the ones mom wore during her pregnancies but... Are you crying?"

You spun on your heels, facing them. Your brows furrowed in confusion. What was all this about? Kili punched the blonde Dwarf's arm and whispered loudly :  
  
"I told you she would not like the green one!" 

"You liar!" Fíli exclaimed, punching back. "I had picked the red one but you said green would suit her best!"

  
_I told you she would not..._

_Green would suit her.._

_She... Her.._

These two innocent words echoed in your brain, getting louder and louder.   
  
"I do not understand.." You croaked sadly, bringing your brother's attention back on you.

They stepped forward.  
  
"Well," the archer began. "Fili does not want to admit that it was me who wanted to pick the red dress for you."

You shook your head, completely lost.  
  
"No..I mean. Do you not hate me? Are you not disgusted?"

  
The two princes looked at each other, now as confused as you.   
  
"Why would we?" They asked at the same time.

"You said...And..the way you looked at me...You left...I thought..."

Your tears were stronger now, as you babbled nonsense. The confusion was overwhelming, and had they not dropped what they were holding to come hug you, you would've collapsed onto the floor. Instead, the descent was slow and gentle.  
Reassuring hands were everywhere. Caressing your hair lovingly, rubbing your arms, drawing soothing patterns on your back.   
  
"We could never hate you, Kidhuzel." Fíli whispered, pressing a kiss to your temple.

"We said it was not good because..." Kili explained, reaching out behind the three of you to grab the discarded dress on the floor. "Blue clearly is not your color, Muhudel. Plus, it is a dress mom used to wear before she met our father. It is too small for your frame. You need something that fits."

You nodded timidly and looked up at your brothers, offering them a shy smile. One of them—you didn't notice which one— reached up to wipe your tears with his thumb.  
  
"But I was trying on a dress and I am a-"

"A woman." The crown heir interrupted. "You are a woman. Listen to me, Mizimelûh. I have seen you grow up into a strong person. But never, before today, had I seen your eyes scintillating with such happiness."

"He speaks the truth." Kili added, tilting your chin up so you would look at him. "You never liked the way you look. Because it is not who you are. It is nothing to be ashamed of. The Gods made a little mistake when creating you and they put you in the wrong body."

The earlier heartache was now forgotten, replaced with comforting warmth, expanding throughout your limbs. You smiled, ignoring the pounding pain in your head caused by your crying. Timidly, you reached down and took the green fabric between your fingers. No matter who was it that choose the color, he had been right. It was a deep green, like the leaves covering large trees in forests. Yet, it looked softer, more welcoming, than the raging blue one. It was also larger than the other, which would make it appear nice and fitting instead of ridiculously too tight. And although the breasts problem remained, you found yourself wondering how it would look.  
Above your head, you couldn't see, but your two brothers were looking at each others with the biggest smile planted on their face. They had been suspecting this for a while, but they had waited. Because after all, happiness takes its sweet time, doesn't it?  
  
"How about you try it on?" The eldest spoke up, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

"And then, we will add a few more things, and style your hair so it looks really, really good. Is that alright?" Kili added.

You nodded eagerly and the three of you stood up. The dress was pushed past your head, falling on your body delicately.   
After that, a strange procession, of which you were the center, took place.   
  
Behind you, there was Kili, taking off the clasps that secured the few braids you wore. You felt his fingers working in your hair. And when you peaked in the mirror, you could see his tongue poking out, sign of how focused he was. It surprised you sometimes, how talented and gentle he was with other people's hair, when he couldn't even take care of his own.  
  
In front of you, Fíli was tugging at the fabric, this or that way, clicking his tongue when he wasn't satisfied with what he was doing. And when he was done torturing the poor clothing, he grabbed a pouch and emptied it on the floor. You looked at all the precious jewels and accessories that were discarded at your feet.  
  
"Did you ask mother before taking her belongings?" You asked.

"You know us." Kili's voice rose from behind. "We did not, of course. But she will not mind at all when she sees how beautiful her daughter is, wearing them."

Fili hummed approvingly from where he was and you bit your lip at the appellation. Yes, you definitely liked it.  
  
It took them a bit more time, many doing and undoing, and an infinite amount of unsatisfied groans before they finally stood in front of you, side by side.   
  
"How does it look...?" You questioned, nervously fidgeting with your fingers.

"Why don't you turn around and see by yourself?" The blonde suggested.

And so you did. Shakily, you took in the sight of the new person in the mirror. The change was astonishing. Oh, your face still had some hard features. But the attention was taken away by the smartly placed jewels. Your hair had been tucked into a braid crown around your hair, decorated with smaller braids and clasps that were worn by women. A belt piqued with gemstones was circling your waist, hiding your man hips, and making the dress look less like a tube. And Fíli, intelligent dwarf that he was, had put the upper part in place with pins, therefore getting rid of the empty space.   
Your eldest brother's arm circled your middle, and Kili's chin rested on your shoulder.  
  
"What do you think about it?" The latter asked with a bright smile.

And when the mirror showed you how happy you looked altogether, you knew it was right. Slowly, you nodded at their reflection and in a soft murmur you said :   
  
"It's good. Perfect."

**Author's Note:**

> Khuzdul words used : 
> 
> Kidhuzel→(the) Gold of Gold  
> Muhudel→Blessings of Blessings  
> Mizimelûh→Jewel of all Jewels


End file.
